> > > ... nfx v3.1 Jeff Needle/jeff.needle@general.com From Rebaly@aol.com Sun Nov 22 17:37:00 1998 Received: from imo21.mx.aol.com (imo21.mx.aol.com [198.81.17.65]) by sdanet.sdanet.org (8.8.8/8.8.8) with ESMTP id RAA10364 for ; Sun, 22 Nov 1998 17:36:59 -0500 (EST) From: Rebaly@aol.com Received: from Rebaly@aol.com by imo21.mx.aol.com (IMOv16.10) id ROPRa19644 for ; Sun, 22 Nov 1998 17:31:11 -0500 (EST) Message-ID: <2d32626.365890af@aol.com> Date: Sun, 22 Nov 1998 17:31:11 EST To: sdanet@sdanet.org Mime-Version: 1.0 Subject: Fwd: You might be an SDA if........ Content-type: multipart/mixed; boundary="part0_911773873_boundary" X-Mailer: AOL 3.0 16-bit for Windows sub 45 Status: OR This is a multi-part message in MIME format. --part0_911773873_boundary Content-ID: <0_911773873@inet_out.mail.aol.com.1> Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII .If I remember correctly some requested this. << You might be an SDA if ... The first thing you do when you are introduced to a woman is to look at her ears. You went to a boarding academy that had two sidewalks one for boys and one for girls and the two never intersected. (So true) You know all the basic square dance steps, but only know how to execute them to march music. You go to youth meetings because you know there will be girls under the age of 65. You know how to play poker with Bible Authors cards and wheat thins. You have ever looked for the angels outside a movie theater. You have ever asked for a Veggie-whopper at Burger King. You are trying to follow the health message by being a vegetarian,but you go for seconds when the dessert tray comes around! You won't drink Coke/Pepsi, but can't pass up that Hershey bar. You take a helping of Nuteena because you actually like it, not out of courtesy. You pronounce "Adventist" as "AD-ventist" rather than "AdVEN-tist". You decide to go hear that new pastor across the county line because your church happens to be holding Communion this Sabbath. (ooops) You still feel guilty when you shower on Sabbath. You have all the "Egypt to Canaan" answers memorized (the 2nd oldest man in the Bible? Jared. He lived 962 years. Next question, please.) You know how to turn any sport into a Sabbath sport (Bible verse ping pong, Bible Verse basketball, Bible Verse football -- the winner of each point must recite a Bible verse. "Jesus Wept" may only be used once per game.) On Sabbath you catch yourself telling the children, "You may wade, but don't swim." Your kids can paddle around the pool/lake, but not splash, jump, or dive. You volunteer to ingather on a corner with a good view of the drive-in theater. If you offer to sing the carols rather than go door to door at ingathering time. You can calculate sundown in Lincoln City from the schedule printed in the Gleaner for Portland. You can tell the difference between Linketts and Vegelinks with your eyes closed. You got your sex education from mom handing you a book by Harold Shryock, MD. You felt mildly guilty reading Songs of Solomon during Week of Prayer. You have sex with your spouse, but you don't dance with her/him. You wear a Rolex watch but consider a wedding ring to be ostentatious. Your high school principal was an expert in female hemlines but was never considered risque. You participate in any kind of sport on Saturday, but you don't enjoy it. You know how to play Rook, but have never played Bridge or Hearts. You know what the terms "social" and "grand social" mean. You know that the bells ringing on Saturday evening in Loma Linda are the "all clear". You define "lay activities" as a Saturday afternoon nap. You have heard that SDA girls don't drink, don't smoke, don't dance,but sure know how to kiss. You know the 101 ways to prepare FriChik. You find yourself counting 10, 9, 8, 7...seconds before sundown Sabbath evening. You're a kid wondering if the earth will last long enough to get a girl(boy)friend. You get frustrated when the sun doesn't go down on Saturday night. You find yourself going to the local "Sizzler's" for Sabbath lunch with the excuse that, "it will only be a salad not a steak". You go to Sizzler's Friday afternoon to pay for the steak dinner Sabbath. You deliberately look for work in hospitals because Sabbath work is "justified". The term "Philistine" means anything you do on Saturday nights. You find yourself counting down the seconds that you can watch your favorite show is on Friday evening before sundown. You hate seeing sundown Saturday night because it means you have to wash the accumulated dishes from Sabbath. You find yourself lining the rim of your plate with cucumbers at Hometown Buffet to increase room for -food even though you're not at the Sabbath Potluck. You don't make up your bed on Sabbath. You have a feeling of satisfaction getting home on Friday from work at least 5 minutes before the sun sets. You surreptitiously check out the grocery basket of a member you happen to meet at the grocery store. You see the pastor in the store and head down another aisle so he/she won't see what's in your basket. Your excuse for sleeping in church is that taking a shower in the morning is part of your wake up routine. You know more than 12 uses for soybeans. You think of kids instead of cars when someone says "Pathfinder". "Special K Loaf" makes a regular appearance at your potlucks. You went to banquets instead of dances in high school. You know who is engaged by asking the time. You get "tipsy" from carbonated soda! When conversing with a priest you find yourself stammering "Fa..,Bro.., Pas... I mean Sir" You go out for lunch after church, but put it on your credit card so you don't actually pay for it on Sabbath! You don't need an electric knife to carve your Thanksgiving "turkey"! You couldn't wait until your mom said you were old enough to get some juice and crackers on Communion Sabbath! You look at someone's hands, see no ring, and still wonder if they are married or not. You see a watch on somebody's right arm, and you wonder whether they are engaged, or just left-handed. Your first date was to vespers. You weren't allowed to go "trick-or-treating" so you went collecting canned goods for the poor, and accepted whatever candy you were offered. (explaining to your Pathfinder leader that the person had "insisted" you take the candy). Your SS lesson quarterly has no yellow highlights markings or underlined phrases. The whole thing looks like a new quarterly three months later. Your response to someone who is going to call says "I'll give you a ring" and your response is "I don't wear them, thank you"! You know that there are some kinds of jello and marshmallows that are OK, but most are not. You set the VCR on Friday afternoon to catch the big Saturday football game... and then smugly watch it after sunset (Saturday night)! You spend all Friday night watching videotapes of last Sunday morning's It Is Written, Breath of Life, Lifestyle Magazine, etc. Your favorite novel was "Brush Valley Adventures" (I loved the chapter entitled "Bats in the Belfry.") Your favorite movie was "One in 20,000" (That first incision in the poor guy's chest sent chills up my spine every time!) You thought Elder Fagal was actually the chaplain at Westbrook Hospital! You collected all the mimeographed sermons from Fordyce Detamore's meetings no matter how scared they made you. (And have at least three blue fake-leather bound Bibles with the cross attached to the zipper. You were moved to tears by the Wedgewood Trio's version of "A Mighty Fortress." (I was at a reunion concert a couple of years ago and still cried!) You were amazed that the Wedgewood Trio were actually better musicians than the Kingston Trio. You were amazed at your 10th academy graduation reunion that half of the group brought beer. You think fake snake meat tastes like FriChik. Your first Bible is plastered full of teeny-tiny bits of paper that haveBible references printed on them that you cut out, licked, then glued during Juniors. You won't watch a movie until it comes out on video. You've ever gone on a nature hike on a Sabbath afternoon. Friday and Saturday are your busiest days of the week. You collect books by a certain author but haven't gotten around to reading most of them. You've ever referred to high school as "academy". You've ever worried that toothpaste ingredients may include an animal byproduct. The words "Sabbath" and "Saturday" are interchangeable, depending on who you're talking with at the time. You feel uncomfortable saying Saturday instead of Sabbath because of it's pagan origin. The only word you'll say while someone else is praying is "amen", if even that. You about the dangers of smoking, drinking, dancing, and meat eating (sins that people need to be saved from) more often anger, resentment or jealousy. While in church you wouldn't dare raise both hands at the same time. You know an Uncle Arthur, Uncle Dan, Aunt Sue and Aunt Carol. "Silver and the Snake" has meaning to you. You understand the following terms: ADRA, NAD, GC, RMS, PPPA, AU, CUC, NPUC, PUC, SMC, UC, AA, CLA, FLA, IAD, SPD, FED, AID, SAD,TED, ARM, R&H, AUC, SWAC, LLU, LLUMC, LSU. You read labels on cans years before nutritional labeling was available. You saved labels off of cans years before re cycling became fashionable. You were raised thinking that drinking a coke, eating meat, and questioning the infallibility of EGW were sins, but you couldn't define the terms racism, sexism, or judgmentalism until you were in college. You do 2 days cooking every Friday afternoon. Take more time at the Taco Bell counter than the prior 6 people. Drive past 235 restaurants searching for something vege. Embarrass yourself, family, friends and clients sending the waitress back 4 times, trying to find something vege and kosher. Worry more about the caffeine in your Coke than the sugar and carbonation. Would die of thirst before drinking coffee. You have forgotten that the food you eat is much less important than the food you share. You avoid low fat chicken and turkey like poison, but chow down on high fat veggie meat. You do not play cards but stay up in the wee hours Saturday night playing Rook or Make-A-Million. You will not drink coffee, but drink postum with 6 NoDoze tablets in it to stay awake for final exams. You think you're the only one who has had these thoughts. You get sad reading some of these responses.